Selections from the Red Book
Words will slow these things and betray their nature, cast upon this page as a fossil record of an elegant, graceful beast. Thought. Feeling. Life.
Inbetween the spaces where I am supposed to rethink my sexuality to better counteract patriarchy, read every good book I could ever hear of, and change the world for the better by balancing on the thin side of a dime, I am loving a small few of you with such intense fervor that I am actually losing weight. In those 'thems' that make up those 'us-es', everything makes sense, even when it's upside down, because making sense of one thing after another - together, is really the only thing that really makes sense. Ever.
God I love that.
I lost some of you, along the way. But what I don't know is: Are our stories in a book or on a prayer wheel? Will I see you again? And should I still be caring about all of that, this much. I might not, if you hadn't done so many amazing things. But you did. All the time I realize new ways in which you were amazing, and I sigh and smile, thinking about you all over again. My life is just better because of you. And gratitude is perhaps a worse burden to bear alone than any pain or guilt can boast.
I will show you somehow. It'll be just perfect.
***
Sometimes it starts out like that
A You, and an I
Hurtling towards each other in
Spiritual space
Until it bursts through that wall
Into what is arbitrarily called
Our reality
Which couldn't resist
Having our bodies apart
While our selves were together
Any longer.
And sometimes it's like two trains
On the same track
And we don't know
What to do
With such a beautiful mess
Afterwards
(It can't just be left that way ?)
But I love you
And I know how and why
We got here (to these places where we are, and are not)
And I know where I will be
In the future.
I'll be right here.
Inbetween the spaces where I am supposed to rethink my sexuality to better counteract patriarchy, read every good book I could ever hear of, and change the world for the better by balancing on the thin side of a dime, I am loving a small few of you with such intense fervor that I am actually losing weight. In those 'thems' that make up those 'us-es', everything makes sense, even when it's upside down, because making sense of one thing after another - together, is really the only thing that really makes sense. Ever.
God I love that.
I lost some of you, along the way. But what I don't know is: Are our stories in a book or on a prayer wheel? Will I see you again? And should I still be caring about all of that, this much. I might not, if you hadn't done so many amazing things. But you did. All the time I realize new ways in which you were amazing, and I sigh and smile, thinking about you all over again. My life is just better because of you. And gratitude is perhaps a worse burden to bear alone than any pain or guilt can boast.
I will show you somehow. It'll be just perfect.
***
Sometimes it starts out like that
A You, and an I
Hurtling towards each other in
Spiritual space
Until it bursts through that wall
Into what is arbitrarily called
Our reality
Which couldn't resist
Having our bodies apart
While our selves were together
Any longer.
And sometimes it's like two trains
On the same track
And we don't know
What to do
With such a beautiful mess
Afterwards
(It can't just be left that way ?)
But I love you
And I know how and why
We got here (to these places where we are, and are not)
And I know where I will be
In the future.
I'll be right here.
posted by Jasper C. Coligny at 1:52 PM
1 Comments:
So, I don't really have much to comment about this post in particular; though I can how easy it is to relate to some parts of these selections.
once I read "I lost some of you, along the way." I had to double check that I knew what was going on. My first instinct was it was something you wrote. (which leads to understanding why you would post it right?)...
that's all I have to say right now, other than to post this comment I had to make my own blog...which you now have the pleasure to read one post in.
Post a Comment
<< Home