Grace

"I feel so empty,
I feel all alone.
How did I wander so far from my home?
These thoughts that run through me
Have stolen my faith,
Please help me up my Father
For I've fallen from grace.

Two roads to travel and
I chose the wrong one,
Going down the lost highway
With my back to the sun.
Something now holds me
In a cold dark embrace,
Please help me up my Father
For I've fallen from grace.

Did you leave me here forever?
Did ya leave me to die?
When I ask for the answers, ya know,
I get no reply.
I got one hand on the bottle
And one foot in the grave,
Please help me up my Father
For I've fallen from grace.
Please help me up my Father
For I've fallen from grace."

~Mark Lee Scott, Fallen From Grace

There are about twenty listed definitions for this versatile, and powerful word in the dictionary. Twenty. From goodwill, to elegance, to the Graces (more daughters of Zeus, along with the Muses, and the countless others), and to grace notes; those beautiful and inspiring things that you found without trying, or in spite of your trying. It really had very little to do with you at all.

If there's one thing I keep learning (or keep failing to learn, hence the repetition, maybe) is that ultimately, I have little to no real power in this world. Anytime I might feel like I do, something comes along and reminds me: it was that circumstances were just fortunate enough to grant me the privilege of the experience, that allowed me to draw that conclusion, temporarily. Those are good moments. I like them. But, when I'm a little wiser than that, I remember it wasn't power that filled them, it was wholly, purely, grace. It wasn't luck, or coincidence; grace certainly encompasses a bit of both of those things, but it is altogether something more.

This doesn't mean I have nothing to do, that everything that happens is just a matter that is totally beyond me. It's not that at all. On the contrary, it means I have greater responsibility, to be more vigilant, more determined, because grace, unlike dumb luck, can be ignored, and forsaken.

Conventional wisdom teaches us that if we're good people, good things will find us. This is only partly true. There is, of course, no guarantee. But, if we're good people, goodness has the chance of finding us. We may be graced with the circumstances for our good decisions to be reflected back to us. If we choose otherwise, it is nearly guaranteed that trouble will find us. In our hearts, minds, and general environment, it always finds us.

We're inside Pandora's Box. If we never open it, we may avoid a lot of the greed, pain, and hate that's out there, but we'll always be in darkness, guaranteed. If we do open up, we're probably going to find the greed, the pain, but it's the only way our hope can have a chance of being out there, in the right place, at the right time. Grace is what happens when it is.

Love is the same way. I look forward to being reminded of this again. Thank you to those who are agents of that reminder. I am always grateful to be graced with the experiences of you.