Strength and Distance
"Let go, Let go
Just get in
Oh it's so amazing here
It's alright
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown"
~'Let Go' by Frou Frou
Recent changes in the patterns of my life have led me to someplace I am enjoying so deeply at the moment, I very much needed to share some of it. Ironically, I tried to capture the thoughts in an audio recording due to the immediacy of the need, but there was a technical malfunction, and exactly 0.0 seconds of a fourteen minute monologue made it through. I've now come here to salvage through some sort of summary.
As I said at the beginning of the recording, this experience has been built by a number of things over the last couple of weeks, the most obvious of which (to my mind currently) was having a podcast recommended to me for consumption (KeithCourage.com). The episode I took in tonight had a section that talked about how what is normally considered 'strength', socially and mentally I guess, is very often just disconnectedness, distance from caring about things. He said something along the lines of pushing so far back from everything that it becomes like a tiny image on a screen, and that at that distance, the slightest turning of our heads can put those things out of sight, out of mind. This sent neurons firing in some humble and extraordinary parts of my brain. It's... a sober feeling. Not jarring, but still eye-opening. Like stepping out of the dark, into unapologetic light, but not having to wait for your eyes to adjust to a harsh change. I think the comfort with the realization just means it was overdue.
I decided I needed to reflect on this. What I thought was that strength necessarily leads to distance, at some point, but going back in the other direction is more difficult for us. When life gets tough, we need to be strong, but you can't be strong forever. You need to rest sometime, and in order to rest, you need some distance from the things that require your strength. They are opposite activities, both equally needed. But, having to be strong again is tough, but we don't like the idea of not being strong. So, we keep that distance, that disconnection in place, and call our efforts to stay disconnected 'being strong'.
I've done this. I'm ready to stop. I'm really glad I heard this articulated, because I get what's felt weird for the last while now.
It's bloody, ridiculously late and I have to work tomorrow... today, technically. That covers the first half of what I talked about, and I think it'll do for now. I don't think I'll have trouble coming back to the other half later, because it has more to do with where I'm going than where I've been.
Thanks.
Just get in
Oh it's so amazing here
It's alright
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown"
~'Let Go' by Frou Frou
Recent changes in the patterns of my life have led me to someplace I am enjoying so deeply at the moment, I very much needed to share some of it. Ironically, I tried to capture the thoughts in an audio recording due to the immediacy of the need, but there was a technical malfunction, and exactly 0.0 seconds of a fourteen minute monologue made it through. I've now come here to salvage through some sort of summary.
As I said at the beginning of the recording, this experience has been built by a number of things over the last couple of weeks, the most obvious of which (to my mind currently) was having a podcast recommended to me for consumption (KeithCourage.com). The episode I took in tonight had a section that talked about how what is normally considered 'strength', socially and mentally I guess, is very often just disconnectedness, distance from caring about things. He said something along the lines of pushing so far back from everything that it becomes like a tiny image on a screen, and that at that distance, the slightest turning of our heads can put those things out of sight, out of mind. This sent neurons firing in some humble and extraordinary parts of my brain. It's... a sober feeling. Not jarring, but still eye-opening. Like stepping out of the dark, into unapologetic light, but not having to wait for your eyes to adjust to a harsh change. I think the comfort with the realization just means it was overdue.
I decided I needed to reflect on this. What I thought was that strength necessarily leads to distance, at some point, but going back in the other direction is more difficult for us. When life gets tough, we need to be strong, but you can't be strong forever. You need to rest sometime, and in order to rest, you need some distance from the things that require your strength. They are opposite activities, both equally needed. But, having to be strong again is tough, but we don't like the idea of not being strong. So, we keep that distance, that disconnection in place, and call our efforts to stay disconnected 'being strong'.
I've done this. I'm ready to stop. I'm really glad I heard this articulated, because I get what's felt weird for the last while now.
It's bloody, ridiculously late and I have to work tomorrow... today, technically. That covers the first half of what I talked about, and I think it'll do for now. I don't think I'll have trouble coming back to the other half later, because it has more to do with where I'm going than where I've been.
Thanks.
posted by Jasper C. Coligny at 2:25 AM
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